November 2003
December 31, 2003
Meaning of Life
While sitting on planes for long hours I read from cover to cover the latest Esquire magazine, the Meaning of Life issue, in which they interview famous personalities asking them what they have learned from their lives. Here are my quick answers for when I am interviewed on the subject in the near future.-Most people have a set of rules that gets them through their lives. They may call these rules religion or science or common-sense. Often they think that because these rules work for them, they must represent reality and work for everyone. This is not so.-Clean as you go. It makes things easier.-Look people in the eye.-I don't think anything is "supposed" to be any particular way. Things just are but they can be different.-I've never met anyone who admitted he was rich or asleep.-People should use less cumin in cooking.-When someone says their recipe has a secret ingredient, 33% of the time it is cinnamon.-Fear is the greatest hindrance to getting things started.-Contradiction and hypocrisy are not the same thing.-Not having money is more expensive than having it.-You don't have to answer the phone when it rings or reply to every email. Communication should set you free, not chain you to a rock.-Change a little at a time. This is the key to all growth. Learning is progressive, is circular. You go round and round but always expand out. Start small. Master little things then add new skills.-Humor is the root of all goodness.-Prioritize.-Nothing is unnatural. Nature is everything there is.-I love the Japenese word "hai" meaning "yes". It sounds like an exhaled breath which is how often we should say yes to life, with each breath.-Don't save magazines. You really won't look at them again.-You can't control who you love or who loves you.-Style and simplicity trump grammar.-Be bold and mighty forces shall come to your aid.-Wednesday is the best day to take out the trash.-On the best day to take out the trash they don't pick it up and the dump is closed.-Be generous but never let anyone take advantage of you without your consent.-Learn to deal with the disappointment in your life or it will eat you alive.-I hate the term "American Royalty". The whole idea of America is against bogus hierarchy of wealth and birth. -I'm also not much of a fan for any other kind of royalty. As Americans we should treat them like anyone else in the world which pretty much means ignoring them. No bowing. No pomp. No following their every move through blurry tabloid photos. And the whole idea of an American being knighted is anathema. It's like a Protestant kissing the ring of the Pope. I won't go into my thoughts on pope or ring kissing now. Please put away these damned Tory notions.-The only thing "anti-American" is to call an American anti-American.-Floss.-Be aware of the world around you.-There are no stupid questions only stupid people who should have asked those questions a long time ago.-It's not the dust you're allergic to, it's the dust mites.-It's not the dust mites you're allergic to, its the excrement of the dust mites. Wait, isnt' that just basically dust?-You will never regret taking the time to do something right.-Gone with the Wind is overrated.-Don't try to express all your beliefs in bumperstickers. Your car will look like crap.-I hate that bumpersticker that says "Kill your television." It's the equivalent of saying "Burn your books." There are many ways to learn in this world and if used properly television is one of them. -All religions try to answer three questions: Where does the world come from? What happens after we die? How should I live my life?-Be an expert at something other than your job.-Be an expert at your job.-Never get all of your information from one place.-Learn how to look things up.-Look things up.-Everyone's parents are as screwed up as yours or more so.-Sometimes the majority means all the fools are on the same side.-You can ALWAYS try again. Don't worry about missing other people's deadlines.-Yes, people are talking about you behind your back. Live with it.-Grow your own herbs. Grind your own spices.-Ants and viruses think they are the most important beings on the planet too.-When something breaks either fix it right away or throw it out. -Quiet desperation is better than loud desperation.-You can cook naked, just don't fry naked.-Time is long. Life is short.-The end is never the end.
December 30, 2003
Things Noticed While Traveling
Here are some things I noticed while traveling over Christmas:- Americans do in fact read. Look around an airport and you will see lots of them reading. Most of what they read is junk.- Although you are not permitted to bring a fingernail clipper from home with you on an airplane, you can buy one in the secured area of the Atlanta airport and presumably bring it on a plane. If you can actually hijack an aircraft with a nail clipper something is seriously wrong.-I have never gotten on to a plane where someone sitting near me wasn't in the wrong seat. "Oh, I thought this was row 19!"-If you try to recline your seat and are having difficulty because of an obstruction of some kind, push back forcefully and maybe you will break those pesky knee caps of the person behind you.-Most young children are "snot-nosed". This is not a judgment, just a well-researched observation.-Most luggage does look alike.-Pack as much for a seven day trip as you would for a 4 day trip. You can probably do laundry somewhere along the way.-You will have to carry that bag a long ways so either don't bring it or check it through.-Dress nice but comfortably. Men, make sure your wallet can slide easily out of your pocket so you can get your ID out quickly but keep your wallet in a buttoned pocket so no one clips it.
December 29, 2003
December 14, 2003
Small Universe
I finally noticed while sitting in a darken theatre late at night that the logo for Universal Studios is the planet Earth. What's with that? Even the Egyptians 5000 years ago knew the universe was bigger than that (though the didn't know what the whole sphere looked like from space -- unless aliens built the pyramids).
December 06, 2003
Going Dark
With the office move next week I will also be moving my email and web servers for KirkSamuels.com. So my website may be down between December 11th and December 15th. Please check back later though. Lots of things happening with the new year.
December 03, 2003
12/03
December is here again. The year seems to move at different speeds and the BER months (September, October, November, December) all move the fastest. This is a particularly busy month. Our office at work is moving and this means lots more work for me. It's 9:30 pm on a Wednesday and I'm still in my office waiting for some computer stuff to finish up. I can't wait for this month to be over.On top of the extra work I have caught a cold. Over Thanksgiving I was visiting some friends whose baby daughter ended up with her hand in my mouth. Don't let babies put their hands in your mouth. You know where they've been and it;s the reason people get colds. So my nose is runny and my lips are chapped beyond belief. If I could take a couple days off to rest in bed I would but that's just not going to happen.One week till my birthday. Thirty-five. A five year old dog has lived a life equivalent to mine. I will have outlasted Charlie Parker, Jimi Hendrix and Jesus.